Under Pressure

The pressure cooker

My mother-in-law was the consummate shopper, whether it was the thrift store, the flea market or the yard sale.

“I’m always looking,” she said. “So if you need anything, let me know.”

I had an instant response for that one. “I want a pressure cooker,” I said. Through the years, three or four pressure cookers of various makes and sizes came to us from Mom, one of them a particularly good one.

In life’s grand scheme, “things” lose their meaning. But in the case of my pressure cookers, I can’t help but think of our beloved “Mom” whenever I put one into use.

Since the advent of the microwave oven, the pressure cooker has fallen from popularity. However, in our household it is a particularly useful appliance.

I can get home from work at 7 p.m. and still have a fresh mess of kidney beans ready to eat by 8. I bet your microwave can’t do that.

Additionally, I can scout the “Priced for quick sale” bin at the meat market and get pork or beef for almost nothing – and using the pressure cooker, serve tender meat from inexpensive cuts in about an hour.

But aren’t pressure cookers dangerous? Yes, like any appliance, there is a wrong way. You don’t want scalding steam under high pressure getting loose in your kitchen.

So follow the directions riveted to your yard-sale cooker and you will be safe. There are at least two and often three safety valves in all pressure cookers. There are replacement parts available; you would most likely need the rubber O-ring or the rubber pressure plug, and you can find those at Ace Hardware, Big R or another vendor.

Use the appliance properly and there will be no need for the safety devices to be activated.

Don’t cook something in a pressure cooker that is likely to foam. Foam rises, sometimes plugging the main pressure regulation valve, which isn’t good. “Likely to foam” would include lima beans and split peas. Voice of experience.

Don’t overfill the cooker. About two-thirds total volume would be good. Overfilling risks interference with the pressure valve and the safety devices.

If you choose to prepare a meat dish in your PC, be sure to brown that steak or chop before applying pressure. A little oil, a chopped onion, some canola. Heat and stir until everything is sizzling hot.

I like to add the spices, and beef bouillon, either liquid or powdered, at this stage. My current favorite spice for this is curry. I also throw in some carrot slices and jalapenos. Don’t forget the liquid – the proportion should be about one-third meat or vegetable and two-thirds water. Then clamp the lid on and let ‘er rip.

Don’t worry about salmonella from the peppers – the high heat in your PC will take care of that. (The jalapeno scare is a lot like the cranberry hoax of the 50’s. Remember?)

Make sure there’s plenty of liquid in anything you cook under pressure. The cooker allows a little bit of vapor to escape with each time it sounds off with that staccato hiss; don’t let your PC run out of water. Bad scene.

Time your batch from the moment the PC begins its hissing pattern. A pound or two of beef or pork will cook in about an hour. Potatoes or carrots will go to mush in any more than a half hour.

When the timer notifies you, take the cooker off the range and run cool water over it until you see that the pressure is released. Modern cookers won’t permit opening until all the pressure is off. Sometimes I stick a paper clip into the hole on top even after the pressure appears to be off. This will assure that there’s nothing stuck in the vent, keeping hazardous steam locked inside.

Bon appétit!

Clapping during Mass

Last week, our diatribe about clapping during Mass drew several responses. One came from our friend Maureen. Her thoughtful, experienced and informative response can be found in the comments under "Applause." (Last week's column.)

Ben’s word of the day.

Our son Ben writes his choice of the word for his day: Flatulence. “That’s what kind of emergency vehicle they send when you get run over by a steam roller,” Ben says.

Which reminds me of a bit of humor Ben came up with when he was in high school.

Ben had a classmate named Lance. Lance was convinced even at that young age that he was destined to be an Emergency Medical Technician.

Ben’s name for this guy? “Ambu-Lance.” Gotta love my Ben.

Evangelizing the young

We’ve written before about grandparents who are afraid of their grandchildren. With World Youth Day so fresh in our minds, I’ve been trying to identify some behaviors that just don’t work when we attempt to deal with the young.

It’s certain to fail when you talk down to a young person – even an infant or a three-year-old like my great-grandson Joe.

Baby talk should be used with your poodle, not your child or grandchild. Really. I mean it. Sappy, saccharin-sweet seductive schmoozing of the young comes across as phony – which it is. Any kid with an ounce of brains will see through it. Speak clearly and plainly as if you are addressing an adult. This will produce positive results if done consistently.

Should we cater to youth? You know the answer. An example of this is when the music is different during a Roman Catholic Mass aimed at attracting the young.

You know. Bongo drums. Other (perish the thought) percussion. Amplification of stringed instruments. “Young” sounding music. Yuck. Same as talking down, catering is kind of sickening, viewed up close. Didn’t work when I was young and it still doesn’t work now.

Fawning over young people is a lie, perhaps the worst of lies we can perpetrate. Really, the best approach with kids is straight-forward, truthful, intelligent, inclusive.

Did you see that word? “Inclusive.” Right. Kids want to be included. Add those obnoxious bongos to the kids’ “special Mass” and many a youth will be smart enough to figure out he’s being sucked up to. Including young people who can show mature behavior at any Mass is a much better bet.

Bozo the Clown or gigantic-screen video displays are simply not appropriate here. Including a lot of happy-happy-peppy clapping-songs won’t be attractive to the young. This is on the same moral level as tap-dancing, finger-popping, finger-snapping or armpit-farting – all human behaviors that just won’t ever be appropriate during Mass.

The “Wave” isn’t a good idea. Leaping from the sanctuary into the Mosh Pit (crowded assembly) won’t do either. Decorum, folks, decorum is essential to the Mass.

When I see the priest suddenly raise his hands to full height and hear him shout, “Give it up for Jesus,” I’ll know it’s all over for my beloved RCC. Hollywood and the concert hall will have overcome.

It’s far better to allow the kids to see and hear the seriousness of Holy Mass than to try to entertain them into belief. Mass is not a hootenanny. It is Mass.

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Word of the week: Xeriscape. My dictionary has “xero,” from Greek, meaning “Dry.” So naturally, xeriscape is a recent construct meaning dry landscaping.

Did you know that if you dedicate too great a proportion of your very own personal yard to xeriscaping, you could get in trouble with the City of Greeley? If somebody rats you out, the city can come and require a certain percentage of your lot to be returned to lawn.

(This doesn’t seem to matter in “east” Greeley. My entire domain over here is xeriscaped, and my neighbors have not tattled on me.)

Next week’s word: Justice.

Gripes? Complaints? Whines? or Comments? Adoration? Puppy love? Reciprocal rant? Feel free to express yourself in the comments below.