Applause

Greetings friends and neighbors. We have lived through another week – almost – and it’s high time to get Letter #58 on its way.

Accord on Applause

I suppose “clapping” is as old as the first human. He probably looked down at his hands and asked, “Wonder what these are for?”

Then he smacked his two hanny-paws together and this made a noise. People have been “clapping” ever since. Girls add a lot of bouncing and jumping and backwards kicking when they clap.

As for me, I just don’t do it. At all. Ever. No need. Nothing impresses me enough to make a fool of myself by smacking my front fins together, like some stupid trained seal in a circus. It’s undignified. Unnecessary. It lacks decorum. It’s embarrassing, either to clap or to be seen clapping.

Clapping is sometimes called “ovation.” As in, “They gave him an ovation.” In ancient Rome, clapping was a lesser ceremonial tribute to a hero whose deeds were not great enough to justify a full triumph. So if you’re only No. 2, you get clapping, not a plaque or trophy.

Clapping is especially annoying when it happens during or even at the end of Holy Mass. Mass is not the time for applause. Church is not the place for applause. “Clapping songs” are totally inappropriate during Mass.

If you are inalterably driven to applaud, clap in the basketball arena, if you must. Or during the curtain call after a play down at the civic theater. Squelch your drive while in church.

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One time in Santa Cruz, I tipped my big fat Harley dresser over in a cloud of dust, right in front of a crowd of Hells Angels.

The Angels turned around and looked when they heard the noise – then they broke into applause. And cheers. And laughter. I would have, too, but I was too busy digging myself out from under the bike. That’s the only time in my life that I can recall feeling that applause would be appropriate.

That’s why it was especially notable to me when Laura ran across the following quote earlier this week. See if you can guess who wrote this:

“Whenever applause breaks out in the liturgy because of some human achievement, it is a sure sign that the essence of the liturgy has totally disappeared and been replaced by a kind of religious entertainment.”

We found this glorious quote on another “blog,” this one offered by a Deacon in New York. It is attributed to Cardinal Ratzinger, now known as Pope Benedict XVI.

The Deacon writes: “The key question is this: is clapping a reverent action, or does clapping break the liturgical spirit of reverence which Rome is calling us to protect?”

You can find this quote and a lot of good stuff at: http://www.deacbench.blogspot.com/

Mack the Knife

It escapes me. Perhaps someone can offer enlightenment.

Both Bobby Darin and Louis Armstrong had huge hits on the song.

But what is the allure of a song which makes a hero of a man who stabs people to death? Really. What is the allure? Write me if you know.

Funny ideas

Yes I was complacent. I was zooming through the halls of the Northern Colorado Medical Center, visiting hospitalized Catholics.

My job, which I volunteer to perform, is to bring the Eucharist to the sick. I am trained, authorized and confident to do this. I am experienced. I am careful, very careful, to perform my job in the most reverent way I know how to do.

My parish priest knows I am doing this job. He appreciates my service, and similar service by dozens of others like me, because it takes a little bit of the pressure off him. I have the priest’s encouragement and approval.

One thing that makes this service so gratifying is that almost 100 percent of the persons I meet are gracious and welcome me into their company. They are hospitalized because they are ill; nevertheless, they want to pray and to receive communion.

Rarely will I come away from a room feeling worse than I did coming in. I’ve never been yelled at or threatened.

About the worst thing that ever happens is a terse response from the ill person, maybe something like, “No, no, not today.”

This can mean anything from “My tummy is upset and I wish you would go away,” to “I haven’t been to confession in 23 years, so I’d better not take communion.”

So I was knocked back on my heels when I experienced the following response from one man at NCMC a few days ago.

The man asked, “Are you a priest?”

No, I answered, I am not a priest. I am an Extraordinary Minister of Communion. “I only take communion from a priest,” said the patient, gruffly.

That’s fine, I said. Then I forced us to say a few prayers to get through my vexation, making sure I left him with something – and that I departed having accomplished something.

I could have provided a smart-ass answer; I could have said, “It was a priest who consecrated the host. The priest is still the Ordinary. I am an ‘Extra-ordinary.’ I am only carrying the Sacrament to you because the priest is simply too busy to visit everyone in person.”

But I was restrained. I felt like saying “Jesus is right here in this pyx and how dare you refuse Him?” (A pyx is a small golden container specifically intended to carry the Sacrament to the sick.)

The assignment of Extraordinary Ministers to jail, hospital and home communion visits is genuine, legitimate. The Church knows and approves. It is a relatively new practice in the 2,008-year-old Church – this has been happening for only about 50 years. So naturally some people get it in their heads that there must be something wrong with it.

What a dumb idea. “I’m only going to receive communion from a priest.” In some parishes, it might be weeks before a person could be in the right line at the right time to receive directly from a priest.

How often are we to receive communion? The Church says this should be a minimum of once annually. There is a strong suggestion that this should be done weekly. Daily is even better.

Since I met with that one difficult man, I’ve been ruminating on this issue. It seems to me that if we believe the Sacrament IS the body of Christ, then Jesus is present in it. The Real Presence of Christ is in the Eucharist. If you don’t believe that, you’re lying when you claim to be a Catholic.

It seems to me it would be foolish to turn down the Sacrament. There really isn’t all that much to be gained by denying Christ.

Oh well. Some people get some funny ideas.

The ACLU

That acronym stands for “American Civil Liberties Union.” Once upon a time, it was an organization which would aid the lowly, the picked-on, the downtrodden, the undefended or indefensible.

Now the ACLU spends most of its time trying to keep God out of places. In fact, the ACLU spends so much time fighting God that the defense of civil liberties goes begging. What’s with that?

Word of the Week: Protestant. A protestant is a person who follows the teachings of Martin Luther, John Calvin or King Henry the Eighth.

The word was used originally to denote any of the German princes and free cities that formally protested to the Diet of Spires its decision to uphold the edict of the Diet of Worms against the Reformation.

The usual meaning these days is, “Any Christian not belonging to the Roman Catholic Church or the Orthodox Eastern Church.” In the 17th century the term was restricted to Lutherans and Anglicans.

It means “A person who protests.”

Next week’s word: Xeriscape.

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Gripes? Complaints? Whines? or Comments? Adoration? Puppy love? Reciprocal rant? Feel free to express yourself in the comments!