Tom is one of the bravest men I know. He survived infantile paralysis, which disease resulted in more than usual family conficts. He has been a journalist and newspaper editor, a baker, a chef, a biker, a hippy, a husband, a father, a son, a brother, an uncle, a grandpa and great-grandpa. He is an oil painter, a tailor, a landlord, a child of God.
And he has been my mate. For more than thirty years we've been a team. In our first five years we went separate directions for jobs; when we returned to Colorado we knew we wanted to work together as well as live together. Man, has that led to some challenges - for both of us. But the rewards . . . the rewards. Not financial - he'd be the first to tell you we didn't plan well. The other side of that is that we are among the wealthiest in the world - it doesn't have to do with a bank account, though.
Neither of us knew much about leather tailoring when we opened The Real Leather Company in October 1988. We learned a lot in 26 years. Mostly we learned not to let our personal differences get in the way of customer relationships.
Tom was married to the mother of his children - my bonuses - for 15 years. When we met, they were considering reconciliation. Obviously, that did not happen - but just a few weeks ago, when Jaye and Ben came to visit, Annette came down from the mountains and spent the night, visiting with us, visiting our friend's art show, going to Mass with us. What joy to be able to say to my friends - "Look - that's my bonus son, my bonus daughter . . . and their Mom." Eyebrows raised, the question came "you mean, his ex-wife is sitting in the same pew with him?" Yes. What a grace their friendship could be renewed in spite of the parting of ways. What courage he shows to maintain that relationship. Easier by far to throw out the past and move on.
At the time they parted, he lost his job; lost his apartments; lost his home. Lost his children. Not really, but the relationships were changed. He went to Idaho State University and became a fantastic baker, a chef extraordinaire. Worked for the Sun Valley Company in their premier bakery. Started a new life. As time progressed, and the effects of polio became better known, he investigated a hip replacement, and moved back to Colorado to help his Dad and brother in their rental property business. A hip replacement was not possible as the hip he had was not fully developed (it stayed the size of a four-year-old) and he simply was not a good candidate for the surgery. Conflicts continued with his Dad; we met and married; we moved to California in search of better climate, a new beginning.
After a couple years California chewed us up and spit us out, and back we came to Colorado. Tails dragging, not beaten though. With the backing of the family business, we were afforded the opportunity to start our business.
After 15 years of marriage, in late 1999, Tom said "We need to go to church." He and I both looked around the dining room - who could have said that? Couldn't have been Tom. The Holy Spirit led us to the Roman Catholic Church, St. Peter Parish to be exact - and we never looked back. We have been enfolded, embraced, empowered by the community and by learning to seek God's will in our lives. How brave, to turn to God in the face of . . . skepticism and doubt, in a world not accustomed to seeking the face of God.
We added Catholic goods to our store - another courageous move, would it "upset" our "biker" customers? No. It clarified who we are, in Whom we believe, the hope we want to share with others.
These verses come to mind: ". . . wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her" (Eph. 5:24,25) It's pretty obvious to me that the male bears huge responsibility here. It's easy to be "subordinate" when the man is willing to love his wife as Christ loved the church - even to the point of death for His beloved. It has become easy to be subordinate to Tom as he strives to walk with God.
He was diagnosed with advanced metastatic prostate cancer in 2010, the year after our 25th anniversary. God guided our way to some of the best doctors you could find, including Dr. Flaig, who teaches at U C Hospital, and travels the world helping other doctors learn how to more effectively treat urologic cancers. More recently we added Drs. Fuller and Fried to our "wonder doctor" list, as they have helped with radiation therapy and palliative treatment.
We came to Denver to see our beloved Dr. Flaig Thursday, and have been at University Hospital since then. Lots of tests, lots of talks, lots of tears. Wonderful care. Compassionate, loving, merciful care.
Friday I did one of the hardest things I've ever done. I informed Tom's children that there are no further treatment options; that we can pursue palliative care; that we will be going home (I hope) with hospice care. OF COURSE there can be a miracle; Tom can be healed; the doctors don't know for sure about Tom's life span. OR yours or my life span. But I believe the true miracle will come when Tom meets Jesus - and is healed; made whole; when he "who hopes in the Lord will renew his strength. He will soar on wings like eagles; he will run and not grow weary, he will walk and not be faint." (Is. 40:31)
He is embarking on the hardest part of his life so far - letting go. Letting go of his hopes, aspirations, desires; letting go to let God embrace him and take him home. Our true home. Letting go of earthly attachments; entrusting his children's future, my future - to our Lord.
If you want to send him a card, our mailing address is 330 18th St., Greeley, CO 80631. If you want to visit him, and need our home address, let me know.
Here's how we met: Twenty-five Years
Thomas Hodge, aka Tom, Tomaso, Maso, Dad, Grandpa, Great Grandpa, Tio Tomaso, The Old Rocker . . . is one of the bravest men I know.
And he has been my mate. For more than thirty years we've been a team. In our first five years we went separate directions for jobs; when we returned to Colorado we knew we wanted to work together as well as live together. Man, has that led to some challenges - for both of us. But the rewards . . . the rewards. Not financial - he'd be the first to tell you we didn't plan well. The other side of that is that we are among the wealthiest in the world - it doesn't have to do with a bank account, though.
Neither of us knew much about leather tailoring when we opened The Real Leather Company in October 1988. We learned a lot in 26 years. Mostly we learned not to let our personal differences get in the way of customer relationships.
Tom was married to the mother of his children - my bonuses - for 15 years. When we met, they were considering reconciliation. Obviously, that did not happen - but just a few weeks ago, when Jaye and Ben came to visit, Annette came down from the mountains and spent the night, visiting with us, visiting our friend's art show, going to Mass with us. What joy to be able to say to my friends - "Look - that's my bonus son, my bonus daughter . . . and their Mom." Eyebrows raised, the question came "you mean, his ex-wife is sitting in the same pew with him?" Yes. What a grace their friendship could be renewed in spite of the parting of ways. What courage he shows to maintain that relationship. Easier by far to throw out the past and move on.
At the time they parted, he lost his job; lost his apartments; lost his home. Lost his children. Not really, but the relationships were changed. He went to Idaho State University and became a fantastic baker, a chef extraordinaire. Worked for the Sun Valley Company in their premier bakery. Started a new life. As time progressed, and the effects of polio became better known, he investigated a hip replacement, and moved back to Colorado to help his Dad and brother in their rental property business. A hip replacement was not possible as the hip he had was not fully developed (it stayed the size of a four-year-old) and he simply was not a good candidate for the surgery. Conflicts continued with his Dad; we met and married; we moved to California in search of better climate, a new beginning.
After a couple years California chewed us up and spit us out, and back we came to Colorado. Tails dragging, not beaten though. With the backing of the family business, we were afforded the opportunity to start our business.
After 15 years of marriage, in late 1999, Tom said "We need to go to church." He and I both looked around the dining room - who could have said that? Couldn't have been Tom. The Holy Spirit led us to the Roman Catholic Church, St. Peter Parish to be exact - and we never looked back. We have been enfolded, embraced, empowered by the community and by learning to seek God's will in our lives. How brave, to turn to God in the face of . . . skepticism and doubt, in a world not accustomed to seeking the face of God.
We added Catholic goods to our store - another courageous move, would it "upset" our "biker" customers? No. It clarified who we are, in Whom we believe, the hope we want to share with others.
These verses come to mind: ". . . wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her" (Eph. 5:24,25) It's pretty obvious to me that the male bears huge responsibility here. It's easy to be "subordinate" when the man is willing to love his wife as Christ loved the church - even to the point of death for His beloved. It has become easy to be subordinate to Tom as he strives to walk with God.
He was diagnosed with advanced metastatic prostate cancer in 2010, the year after our 25th anniversary. God guided our way to some of the best doctors you could find, including Dr. Flaig, who teaches at U C Hospital, and travels the world helping other doctors learn how to more effectively treat urologic cancers. More recently we added Drs. Fuller and Fried to our "wonder doctor" list, as they have helped with radiation therapy and palliative treatment.
We came to Denver to see our beloved Dr. Flaig Thursday, and have been at University Hospital since then. Lots of tests, lots of talks, lots of tears. Wonderful care. Compassionate, loving, merciful care.
Friday I did one of the hardest things I've ever done. I informed Tom's children that there are no further treatment options; that we can pursue palliative care; that we will be going home (I hope) with hospice care. OF COURSE there can be a miracle; Tom can be healed; the doctors don't know for sure about Tom's life span. OR yours or my life span. But I believe the true miracle will come when Tom meets Jesus - and is healed; made whole; when he "who hopes in the Lord will renew his strength. He will soar on wings like eagles; he will run and not grow weary, he will walk and not be faint." (Is. 40:31)
He is embarking on the hardest part of his life so far - letting go. Letting go of his hopes, aspirations, desires; letting go to let God embrace him and take him home. Our true home. Letting go of earthly attachments; entrusting his children's future, my future - to our Lord.
If you want to send him a card, our mailing address is 330 18th St., Greeley, CO 80631. If you want to visit him, and need our home address, let me know.
Here's how we met: Twenty-five Years
Thomas Hodge, aka Tom, Tomaso, Maso, Dad, Grandpa, Great Grandpa, Tio Tomaso, The Old Rocker . . . is one of the bravest men I know.
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