Letter Number 163, Potpourri

A "Contained" Blaze

Consider a few sentences near the end of the “Reader’s Digest Atlas of the Bible,” the sixth printing of which was in February, 1990:

“ . . . continuing geographical expansion, combined with the relative autonomy of individual churches, gave rise to inconsistencies and conflicts.

“While all shared the same fundamental beliefs, there developed a bewildering variety of local rites and doctrines.

“Increasingly it became evident that a more formal structure or mechanism was needed to bind the far-flung congregations together and resolve their differences through recognized channels of authority.

“It also became evident . . . that Rome was the natural center from which that authority should flow.”

Recognized channels of authority? And they knew this early in the second century of church history. Channels of authority. What a concept.

End of story. End of argument. As it was in the beginning, it is now and ever shall be. United we stand, divided we fall. A house divided cannot stand.

Reader’s Digest rules!

Good ol’ Denver

Robert S. Allen assembled a group of essays by other writers describing various U.S. cities during the mid-1940s. The book is “Our Fair City,” copyright 1947 by Vanguard Press, Inc.

A scathing view of Denver was contributed by reporter Roscoe Fleming.

An example: “The early settlers (of Denver) improvidently shot or drove away all the Indians, careless of their value for twentieth-century window dressing, so they are as rare in Denver as in Philadelphia.

“As a result, when the town needs a few redskins to provide Western atmosphere for a President or a Sinatra, they must be imported from the Dakotas or Wyoming.

“A Denver columnist is currently making quite a stir in the city with a campaign for a permanent local stock, or backlog, of Indians for such purposes. There are cowboys on occasion, but their big festival is the National (Western) Livestock Show in midwinter, when there are few big-name visitors around.”

Sounds like a ripe opportunity for an ambitious entrepreneur. Can you dig it? “Rent An Indian.” “Native Dancers for Lease.” There must still be a need.

What’s the diff?

A "wether" is a castrated male sheep. A "bellwether" is a male sheep wearing a bell, usually the leader of a flock. Hence, the word is used to describe a human leader, not necessarily castrated, but a leader nevertheless, especially of a foolish, sheep-like crowd.

A scapegoat is a goat, over the head of which the high priest of the ancient Jews confessed the sins of the people on the Day of Atonement.

After this transfer of guilt from Jew to goat was effected, the goat was allowed to escape, or was sent away into the desert carrying everyone’s sins on its head. Find this in Leviticus, 16: 8-22.

It has come to mean a person, group or thing that bears the blame for the mistakes or crimes of others, or for some misfortune due to another agency.

So is our President a bellwether or a scapegoat? Or both?

Courtesy

Courtesy is defined as gracious politeness. It is a polite or considerate act or remark.

When the State of Colorado wanted to establish a state police force, there was opposition.

The county sheriff and the city police chief and the local constables were doing a fine job of enforcing the law. No state force was needed. Or so went the argument.

To put a better spin on the idea of a statewide police corps, some early word-master came up with “The Courtesy Patrol.”

The imputed meaning of this title was that if you had automobile trouble on the highway, a courteous servant of the public would eventually come along and help you with your flat tire or boiling radiator.

Unfortunately, I’ve lost track of the moment in time when the word “courtesy” was removed from any reference to the state police.

“Courtesy” no longer describes these minions of overweight trucks and zooming Corvettes, so the word has been lost.

Personally, on the rare occasion when I have been contacted by the Courtesy Patrol, I have been treated courteously. But I have had only two or three contacts with them in 52 years of driving, none of which resulted in my arrest or receipt of a citation.

I hope to avoid any unpleasant contact with the Courtesy Patrol, and I shy away from driving on holiday evenings when the notorious DUI roadblocks go up.

Those roadblocks are patently unconstitutional, and if I am detained in one, I fear I might not be so courteous to the patrolman who has infringed on my constitutional right to free travel.

“Courtesy Patrol” my aching gluteus maximus.

Naughty naughty

You would probably never guess this, but sometimes I am ornery.

When I go past the magazines in the grocery store, I often pause long enough to reverse any “Oprah” publication. Can’t help myself. Whatever image is on the back page, it’s easier to look at than the "All-Oprah All The Time" cover.

I don’t steal anything. I don’t do any damage. I just turn her craven image away so that people don’t have to unwittingly view her toothy grinning face.

Ornery, but a kindness to my fellow man.

-0-

Word of the week: Gluteus. It’s from Latin and Greek, gloutos, rump, or buttock. It designates any of the three muscles that form each of the buttocks and act to extend, abduct, and rotate the thigh.