Bad Things Happen to Good People

We found ourselves in the lobby of Greeley’s Christ Community Church on April 14, prepared to attend a funeral.

When my turn came, I approached my longtime friend Willie. Neither of us is a man comfortable with hugging, but nevertheless we embraced.

As I held my friend close to me, I felt him tremble and heard his sobs of grief. After a time, I released my grip and when I pulled back I saw the tears.

I was having a similar experience. I’m not one to cry easily, and neither is Willie. But we were far from alone, in the company of dozens of manly men standing there with salty drops streaming down our bearded cheeks.

Every manner and style of grisly, hardened biker was there, about 300 people in all. Harley-Davidson motorcycles lined both sides of the street outside.

The numbers included members of notorious biker clubs along with the mild Christian riding clubs. Arch enemies, sworn combatants among the hard-core clubbers, were able to set aside their puerile territorial animosities for a time, out of respect. Decorum temporarily prevailed.

Willie’s wife Cindy, or Cynthia Sue, had died in her sleep the week before. The cause of her death wasn’t determined.

Willie told me he and his wife went to bed together and when he awoke early the next morning “She was cold. We tried everything, but it was too late.” Cindy was 53.

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Mid-morning on Sunday April 25, Laura and I found ourselves in the sacristy at St. Peter Roman Catholic Church in Greeley.

I was scheduled to undergo a medical procedure the next day, and I had arranged for Fr. Tadeusz to administer the anointing, the Sacrament of Healing. We were waiting there for our priest.

Also in the sacristy were our longtime friends Lou and Maria. They were waiting for Fr. Tadeusz so that they could ask him to bless a small crucifix they had purchased.

All four of us were overcome with emotion. I quickly embraced Lou as Laura embraced Maria.

As I held my friend close to me, I felt him tremble and heard his sobs of grief. After a time, I released my grip and when I pulled back I saw the tears.

I’m not one to cry easily, and neither is Lou, but there we stood with Laura and Maria, salty drops streaming down our cheeks.

One of Lou and Maria’s grandchildren, a 15-year-old girl, had taken her own life just a few days before. The grief-stricken couple had bought the crucifix to include with the child in her casket.

On Monday and Tuesday of this week, there was a visitation, a rosary and a Mass of Christian Burial for the girl, all at St. Peter Church.

Attendance was enormous. Hundreds were there; schoolmates, family, friends. All grieving, all weeping. It’s seldom that something so unconscionably sad occurs.

Character

Let’s develop the character of these grief-stricken people, Willie and Lou and Maria.

I’ve known Willie since 1983. He’s the owner and operator of the “alternative” Harley-Davidson motorcycle shop in Greeley.

Since he was big enough to straddle one, Willie has ridden one kind of a Harley or another. As a young man, he worked for several different motorcycle dealers, eventually earning the experience and expertise to open his own shop.

His interest in the hobby and in the business spread to interest in riding clubs, and to this day he is an avid clubber.

Willie is quite different from many in the life, the cult. He does not use tobacco. He does not drink alcohol. He does not use drugs or condone others’ use of drugs.

Since I’ve known him, Willie has always had a second job to make sure there was enough money on hand to support his family.

He was a night-driver delivering newspapers for a long time. More recently he drove a tractor-trailer rig in Wyoming hauling sand to construction sites. An associate kept the bike shop going for Willie on the days he was away in Wyoming.

When his sons were young, Willie worked tirelessly as a volunteer in the Cub Scouts. I remember the “Pinewood Derby” in particular.

He is a family man. Through divorce and the rigors of his hard life, he has never been out of touch with or unsupportive of his children or their mother.

The club thing is a family thing for Willie, overlapping biker brothers and blood relatives.

He is a man without guile. His business behavior is impeccable, always treating his sometimes erratic customers fairly.

Willie is a savvy businessman, but his big smile and good nature have been abused not a few times through the years. Without holding a grudge, he goes on with a resigned shrug of the shoulders.

Once upon a time, we had a customer known as Kansas Donnie. We did an alteration on chaps for him – and he rode off into the sunset without paying us.

Dismayed, I called Willie the next day. “Not a problem,” Willie said. “I’ve got his Panhead in my shop. I’ll put a mechanic’s lien on it until he pays you.”

Chastened and humbled, Donnie soon arrived and paid his bill. That’s the kind of friend Willie has always been to us – and to hundreds of others. An honorable Christian man, our friend Willie.

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We’ve known Lou and Maria for the past 11 years. When one joins St. Peter Parish, one inevitably gets acquainted with them.

Maria has performed every imaginable service for the church. She was a volunteer housekeeper and health care worker for the elderly mother of a beloved priest.

She worked full-time for several years – while she was simultaneously a full-time student at the University of Northern Colorado. These days she works in community programs with the goal of improving the lot of the people.

For her church, she has served as an extraordinary minister of the Eucharist and as a sponsor for persons entering the church. She has been a member of the parish council and the chairwoman of the annual parish festival. Currently, she is a lector, a very good lector.

Lou, recently retired after a long and successful career as the owner of a heating and plumbing business, is tireless in his devotion to God and the Church.

He plays guitar and sings in one of the Mass choirs at St. Peter, and has served as an extraordinary minister of communion. Frequently, he sponsors persons seeking entry in the church – a time-consuming and intense activity.

Lou is an accomplished musician. He can play popular music and sing it every bit as well as the church stuff. He’s not alone in his devotion – a brother of his is a deacon, and all of his siblings are active in the Church.

Lou and Maria were there as witnesses, along with Larry and Jeannie, in November of 2001, when our marriage was validated and blessed in the Roman Catholic Church.

Character. You have it right in front of you with Willie and Lou and Maria.

It’s all right to cry. It’s all right to tremble with grief. It’s all right to grieve. Please pray, because horrific things do happen to very good people.

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Word of the Week: Grief. It’s from Middle English, gref or greve, meaning sorrow. Today we think of it as an intense emotional suffering caused by loss, disaster, misfortune. It means acute sorrow, deep sadness. Sounds familiar somehow.