Veritas

Correspondent Gavin Green of Motor Trend Magazine has written a most astonishing review of the new Porsche 911 Turbo 3.8.

There is one sentence in particular that I would never have expected to see in print. (Bear with me: This is going somewhere, I promise.)

The headline promoting Green’s spiel reads, “Seventh Son.” This new series is Number Seven among 911 Turbos introduced since the original in 1974. Some of you may know about the “seventh son.” It is appropriate to the Porsche and its heritage.

The Porsche of 2010 is nearly identical in shape to the ancient one that was introduced soon after World War Two. You’ve seen its inverted bathtub countenance over enough years now that it’s pretty much instantly recognizable – even though it’s vastly different mechanically from those early days.

Here (at long last) is the amazing sentence from Green: “Porsche has continuously wrestled with the fundamental flaw inherent in a high-speed car having the weight distribution of a pendulum.”

The Porsche has a design flaw? Yes it does. It always has, since its postwar beginnings. It has the same design flaw as the Corvair and the original Volkswagen Beetle. The engine (and hence the preponderance of the weight) is in the rear of these vehicles.

Better for racing is any vehicle that has closer to a 50-50 front-to-rear weight ratio.

I do have some little experience in what I’m writing about. I did take a friend’s Volkswagen bug on a test drive back in the early 60’s, and there was that short but very scary mountain drive in my father-in-law’s brand-new Corvair Monza Spyder.

That was enough for me. The steering end of these vehicles is way too light. It’s easy to get in over one’s head. Real easy. Lost in this peculiar mechanical arrangement are braking efficiency and steering accuracy and predictability. I prefer a car in which the front tires stay on the ground through the curves.

Back in the day of the Chevrolet Corvair, Ford ran a television ad showing an archer. The Robin-Hood-looking guy first shot arrows with the heavy end up front like we’re used to. Hit a target bulls eye, easily, several times.

Then the archer shot an arrow on which the arrowhead had been mounted in back, behind the feathers. The arrow didn’t even make it to the target, let alone pierce the bulls eye. The unbalanced shaft wobbled sickly off to the side, every time. Proof enough for me.

For passenger vehicles, the only sensible arrangement is engine-front, passengers center, luggage last. For racing, center the weight. The human can go in front or back of that, but the bulk of the weight should be in the center. Fact of life.

Where does this leave the 911? Well, Green says, it has almost 500 horsepower now, compared to about 50 horsepower in early models. And he says to own one you’ll have to put up almost $150,000.

That’s a lot of money and a lot of horsepower for a vehicle that still suffers from a basic design flaw – the very same design flaw that the VW Bug had before World War Two. Its booty is too heavy.

Granted, as Green reports, Porsche has been “trying endlessly to tame its wildest beast,” attempting with technology to overcome that historic design flaw. Progress has been made, but the design flaw will remain until the front-to-rear weight ratio is changed.

Thanks to Mr. Green, I’ve finally seen it all in black and white. The Truth about the 911 !

So why is this monstrosity still on the market, on the highway? Because people will buy them, design flaw and all. No other reason.

Indulgent segue

Leap with me now from the January 2010 issue of Motor Trend to sometime about 90 years after Jesus Christ died.

The Gospel of John, Chapter One, Verse One: “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God.”

Got it? The Word was – and is – God. This is why the Roman Catholic Church gives equal weight to The Word and to The Eucharist. Now. Let me introduce you to Graziano Marcheschi.

Dr. Marcheschi has a list of credentials longer than a rap singer’s rap sheet. He holds a doctor’s degree in ministry from the University of St. Mary of the Lake. He owns several other degrees and honors. He is an accredited and an accomplished scholar.

With the assistance of his wife Nancy, Dr. Marcheschi is the editor and writer of the “2010 Workbook for Lectors and Gospel Readers.”

This book is essential for any lay person, priest or deacon in this country who hopes succeed at the formidable task of proclaiming God’s Word aloud at the opening of Sunday Mass in the Roman Catholic Church.

There are similar workbooks, but this one from Liturgical Training Publications is the most prevalent, the best known.

A good lector in the liturgical year of 2010 will develop a healthy relationship with the work of Dr. and Mrs. Marcheschi.

The book includes a pronunciation guide, an explanation of the history and meaning of each of the Sunday readings, and suggestions as to emphasis and pace when the scripture is read aloud.

Without this book, lots of lectors (including yours truly) would be lost in a morass of information and detail. I couldn’t read without it. I wouldn’t dare try.

How does all this relate to the new Porsche and Mr. Green’s stark statement of truth about the defective and annoying little German car? Bear with me.

Among remarks in his introduction to this year’s workbook, Dr. Marcheschi writes: “You must understand the words before you can communicate them.”

The good doctor has told us the truth. It is the same truth as reported by Mr. Green: “No matter how much you pay for your new Porsche, it still comes with a design flaw.”

And, as John wrote, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God.”

Truth.

Rare but refreshing in car magazines, but something to be expected in liturgical publications. Truth is a concept well served by correct and proper grammar, spelling, syntax. Poor understanding and poor communication promote confusion and an absence of truth.

Truth.

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Word of the Week: Hierarchy. This one is from Latin and Greek, Early Modern English, French. It means the power or rule of a hierarch. A hierarch (hier means sacred, and archos, ruler, in Greek) is a high priest.

For our purposes, the hierarchy usually refers to the authorities of the Roman Catholic Church. The hierarchy is the system of Church government. Do not make the mistake of maligning the hierarchy.

The Church could not survive without its Pope, bishops and priests. The hierarchy brings orderliness and sanity. Look at the rudderless Episcopalians and how they behave, for comparison.

Next week’s word: Miscegenation.