Ebonics & Balderdash

Greetings happy readers. Preceding last week's Friday Letter offering about Catholic Jargon, we asked folks to respond critically to it.

Two did. My good friend Mike Holt, who can be trusted to respond objectively and critically to any question, compared Catholic Jargon to Ebonics, and said "Jive is jive." Ouch.

A cousin of mine used my own "Word of the Week" to slap me around. He said Catholic Jargon is balderdash. Ouch.

Ebonics: The Princeton University online dictionary says this is a noun, and that it means "A nonstandard form of American English characteristically spoken by African Americans in the U.S.'' The word is a conglomerate of "ebony" and "phonics."

Find below this week's "Friday Letter." Please respond with kindness.

Aversion Reaction

Colorado newspapers have been carrying an advertisement in entertainment sections promoting a theatrical promotion at the Buell Theatre.

While reading an item in the Catholic Register from Denver, I turned the page and was confronted by a large photographic image of two actors, dancing, arms outstretched in matching positions, knees akimbo in matching positions, from the Buell Theatre production of "My Fair Lady."

I wouldn't say it was nausea. But my immediate response to this particular aversion reaction was to cover the photo with a piece of blank paper, so I could bear to read the rest of my article. I don't want that theatrical image even in my peripheral vision.

This thing that goes on probably started with the musical, "Oklahoma!" in the 1950's when the movie was brand new.

There's a scene in which actor Gordon MacRae is pictured astride a huge horse in a cornfield singing, "When the corn is as high as an elephant's eye . . . "

The "Oklahoma!" cinematographer has made use of an ancient Hollywood device, the moving backdrop, so the corn-art actually moves but Gordon's horse does not. Gordon sings while doing his best to mimic the motion of a rider astride a moving horse, but it's just lame.

I remember questioning, "They don't have elephants much in Oklahoma, so how do they know when the corn is as high as an elephant's eye?" As far as I am concerned, the corn is very high in any cinematic musical.

Eeek. Even as a youngster, I had to cover my eyes during that scene. A very youthful aversion reaction.

How about actress Mitzi Gaynor in the makeshift shower on a South Pacific island. She breaks out in song, "I'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair."

Yipes. One would think I would enjoy looking at Mitzi in the shower. Beautiful woman, mostly naked, nice shape, gorgeous smile. But. Nope. Can't watch.

Lest you jump to conclusions, no, it's not all 50's and 60's musicals. When I go to the grocery store this weekend, I will likely have to lower the brim of my hat so I won't have to look at yet another image of Oprah on the magazine rack.

I choose not to look at Oprah if I can prevent it. I do not want to think about Oprah at all. But if I allow my vision to transfer her image into my brain, I will be thinking about Oprah. That's incontrovertible. That possibility makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck.

Any Hollywood actor can cause me to avert (react to aversion) my eyes -- but when it's one of the dozens like Sean Penn and the perennial three-day-beard, I just can't look. Guys. Really. Shave or don't shave. Yuck.

It isn't just images of people, either. Remember when the space shuttle blew up?

We lived in Fort Lupton then. I was watching TV on our little enclosed front porch that morning, Laura's little black-and-white set with rabbit ears and a sleep timer.

The "live" image of the launch was broadcast -- right through the horrific end. Then, through the magic of television, like a touchdown or a winning home-run, the explosion was replayed, again and again. I counted twenty replays before I finally caught on (duh) and shut it off.

The same was true on the 20th anniversary of the assassination of John Kennedy. We got to see the grainy home movies of the bullet hitting his skull -- over and over.

By the time the airliners hit the twin towers, I was long past watching television. So at least I only have anecdotal images of that event. I know what went on there. All too well. I have no rational need to see the pictures.

I thank the good Lord for that absence of stimulation. I certainly don't want to go blind. But just as certainly, I plan to limit visual images as best I can.

Lenten Promotion

Catholic tradition prescribes the sacrifices of fasting and abstinence during the season of Lent. This tradition, like all traditions, is subject to warpage and misunderstanding and abuse.

The idea is that by self-denial Catholics can understand to some small extent what Christ did for us. Giving up coffee seems like a small sacrifice, comparatively.

It was inevitable that a tradition of sacrifice and a regulation of abstinence from meat would be turned into a commercial venture. After all, look what we've done to Christmas.

Good Catholics don't eat fish because it's Lent. To the contrary, Catholics deny themselves red meat on Fridays during Lent. It isn't about fish, it's about not eating meat. Abstinence.

Eating potato soup is a sacrifice in obedience to the regulation just as is eating fish. It isn't that we eat fish for Lent: It is that we deny ourselves meat during Lent. Is this difficult?

I see a "Lenten Fish Special" on a menu and it just seems tacky to me. The last thing Lent should be is a merchandising opportunity.

I know. Picky picky picky.

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Word of the week: Pariah. It comes from the Tamil language, meaning the hereditary drummer. A pariah is a member of one of the oppressed social castes in the cast system of India. Or, it's any outcast, someone despised or rejected by others. Is there a pariah in your life?

Next week's word: Lavatory.

Gripes? Complaints? Whines? or Comments? Adoration? Puppy love? Feel free to express yourself below!