Friday 11/2/07

Greetings fellow sojourners. Here's this week's offering. Dig in! And, Happy Solemnity of All Souls Day, Nov. 2!

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Greeley Gas Follow-up

We were downtown Tuesday, stopped at a traffic signal, on our way to work.

Along comes a Greeley Gas (Atmos) truck with six, count 'em six, big ol' hardhat guys inside.

They spied our truck. It's a distinctive vehicle. They had become acquainted with it while it waited in our Atmos-blocked driveway last week.

At the intersection, all six guys smiled, and waved, and smiled, and waved some more. Must be we ended friends.

It's good to have friends. It's no good to alienate people over things they can't change. From those smiles and waves, I'm sure we ended friends. Good for all of us.

There is at least one additional bonus to our Atmos-enforced house arrest last week. Our dear old pine tree is obviously recovering.

We had "gas leak kill" once before in that yard, but still we hadn't a clue as to what was wrong with the tree last summer. The needles are already greener and fuller. We're pouring the water to it before the freeze.

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I am the kitchen attendant in our home. Since I do a lot of the work in our culinary space, I have the authority to speak. Here goes.

Washing dishes: The rules:

After each meal, the tableware and cooking utensils will be scraped, rinsed and stacked on the dish counter. When the stack gets ominous enough – usually once a day – the kitchen attendant will fill the two sinks and engage cleaning procedures.

The washing sink will contain dish detergent and liquid bleach. The rinse sink could also have bleach, but this would usually be reserved for times when there will be a large volume of cooking utensils to clean.

Wash water should be as hot as the hands can stand, and to prevent burn, rubber gloves are recommended. Bleach and very-hot water are the major defense against food-borne disease.
Draining dry in the dish rack will be sufficient for low volumes of cleaning.

When there’s a lot to wash, the glasses and cookware will be towel-dried and returned to their storage to make room for additional items in the drain rack.

Tableware will be sorted at this time, spoons together, forks together and so on.

The dishwashing staff member, who in most domestic cases should be the same person as the cook, is responsible for cleaning the range top, cutting boards, counter space, refrigerator and cupboards.

This person also has the duty for waste disposal – potato peels to beer bottles.

The dish sinks are never to be used for washing hands after changing the oil in the car or weeding the garden.

Expectoration is strictly forbidden in the dish sinks. There are other sinks for these purposes.

Dishtowels and dishcloths are to be exchanged frequently – daily is best.

Culinary knives are to be towel-dried and returned to their drawers or cases immediately, never left hiding among the draining tableware. Persons with colds or flu are relieved of dishwashing duty. Broken glass is to be safely disposed of immediately.

The countertop and sinks are to be kept free of objects unnecessary to dish service. (A bare dish counter is the best dish counter.)

More on food

Never once since 1979 have I peeled a raw potato.

That's because I learned in culinary arts school how potatoes are efficiently divested of their skins.

Boil the spuds -- almost done (or al dente') is better than overdone.

If it's "baked" tubers you have on the menu, heat previously boiled produce in the microwave or oven. If you wish aluminum foil, install it after the microwave heating. If you're using a conventional or toaster oven, put the foil on first. Tastes just like baked, promise.

For mashed potatoes or boiled potatoes for stew, peel as many as needed, using only a tablespoon or whatever cupped tool is comfortable.

This method wastes less potato. This method is quicker and easier than peeling cold, difficult raw product. Try it. You may never go back to peeling raw. Doesn't work with carrots, though. Tried it.

Open Door Policy

Perhaps it's a peccadillo. I'd rather think it's simply efficient.

Usually, when I'm in the throes of meal prep, I simply leave the refrigerator door open. Grab the potatoes. Go back for the carrots. Get out the dessert. Make a U-turn for the jalapenos.

Grab another beer.

I might leave the door open for as much as an hour. Nothing melts. Nothing spoils. I've never had a case of food poisoning come from my kitchen. I just prefer leaving the door open, O.K.?

For some reason, this bothers some guests. Many say, "Hey. You left the door open." Even the most gentle folks are somehow fixated on closing the 'fridge door.

One woman (perish the thought) even ventured into my work area, ambled over, closed the door. Eeek. With my toe, I drew an imaginary line between the kitchen and dining room, pointed to it, and said "You stay over there."

Who is in charge of the refrigerator door position? Open or closed? Who decides? In your kitchen, you do. In mine? Guess.

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Blast from the past

Can't help it. Once in a while, I miss the old days. Many of my memorable anecdotes involve my friend Gerald.

Imagine you have been transported back in time to the Darby Club, downtown Blackfoot, Idaho, circa 1978.

It's 2 a.m. We're past last-call-for-alcohol. The music is over. The lights are up. The bartender is anxious to leave.

A cute little barfly is sitting on Gerald's lap, sipping her final gin and tonic. Gerald is goal oriented. He pops the question. Come over to my place?

The barfly asks, "Will you respect me in the morning?"

Gerald, true to form, says, "Hell. I don't respect you now."

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What's Gerald doing these days? He attends Mass daily, works in the pressroom at a newspaper, enjoys the California desert. Ah Gerald. It was a blast. A costly blast, but a blast nevertheless.

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Word of the week: Bigot. It comes from Old French and Spanish, "Hombre de Bigote," or "Man with a moustache." 1. A person who holds blindly and intolerantly to a particular creed. 2. A narrow-minded intolerant person. Synonym: see zealot.

Next week's word: oxymoron.

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Gripes? Complaints? Whines? or Comments? Adoration? Puppy love? Feel free to express yourself in the comments!