Friday 9/21/07 last day of summer

There's already a sequel to last week's Black Widow story, creepy in its own respect.

It requires some background.

Last winter back in the mobile court, our beautiful 50-year-old cottonwood tree died.

We called our friend Bill who is a tree climber and serviceman. He gave us a very reasonable price to remove the poor old tree: $1,800.

Naturally we didn't have $1,800 to throw Bill's way, so we looked for a method to reduce his and our investment in the project.

Here's the plan with which we came up: For $700, Bill would fell the tree and leave it in the yard. The remains would become our responsibility.

Since Bill finished his part of the job, we and our tenant have spent quite a few hours sawing and sorting the wood. The result so far has been cost-effective, productive and gratifying.

Monday, Laura and I loaded the remainder of the ''small'' firewood. The only remains now are the huge slices of the trunk. I'll probably rent a splitter for that.

Our own Deacon Frederick Torrez heats his home with wood. When we have pruning leftovers, as we did from our cottonwood, Deacon gets it.

This is where the Black Widows re-enter the picture. The final pile of firewood was chock full of them. We saw no "big mama" Widows, but many, many of her children scurried about in the sticks and bark.

It's our hope we left all the Widows behind when the wood went on the truck. Our five-ton flatbed was covered with sawn wood, probably four feet high. A lot of wood.

A city ordinance prohibits storing firewood with bark, so we debarked it all, too. That usually loses the spiders. We didn't see any when we unloaded at the Deacon's house.

And, neither of us got bitten. Which is a real good thing.

-0-

In a subject related to firewood preparation and dead tree removal, here is a scandalous fact:

We have two gasoline-powered chainsaws.
Two chainsaws? That's right. Seems awfully indulgent, does it not?

But chainsaws aren't toys, they're tools. They're also relatively persnickety tools. They quit for no explicable reason. A spare makes sense.

Also, when I see smoke coming from one chain, I put that one down and pick up the cooler one. Rotation is good. Our practice is to sharpen both chains before we head out to a job.

We do have a spare chain for each saw. Now that is indulgent.

-0-

Saint Loquacious update: There may really be a real St. Loquacious, but it ain't me yet. When I achieve sainthood, I will be the patron of hooligans, morons and paranoid schizophrenics.

-0-

Word of the week: Euthanasia. Webster says it comes from Greek through Modern Latin, meaning a painless happy death.

That's the first meaning in English, too. The second English definition is the ''act or method of causing death painlessly, so as to end suffering: advocated by some as a way to deal with victims of incurable diseases."

-0-

How about words like "Scuba" and "Ditto?" Scuba, for the uninitiated, is an acronym that became a word. Originally, it stood for Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus."

"Ditto," many of us understand, means "Me too," or "The same for me," or "I agree." It's a bastardization of "dictum," and was once a well-known name for trademarked copying machines and products.

Next week's word: Implore.

-0-

Some popular practices are simply myths. One of my current favorites is the myth of the rubber glove. I remember watching a cook in a downtown restaurant. Probably because of health department regulations, he wore latex gloves while cooking.

So in comes the mailman. Hands the cook a stack of mail. The cook takes the mail in his gloved hand, walks into the back someplace, comes back and continues cooking.

Did the glove prevent transfer of disease? People think it does. It just plain don't.

Here's another favorite: "Helmets prevent accidents." Or, "Seatbelts prevent accidents." There is some slim chance a helmet or belt will prevent injury. But neither will prevent an accident.

So get those gloves, helmets and belts on, everyone. After all, the Safetycrat Establishment wants you to be safe.

-0-

Gripes? Complaints? Whines? or Comments? Adoration? Puppy love? Feel free to express yourself below!